3.30.06
Dear Friends,
So as I listen to the march of spring in the form of hail clanging against my air-condition vent and the wind whining and howling outside my window on this blustery evening, I have come to realize that it has been months since you’ve had the pleasure of receiving one of my random reports from your favorite small town an hour outside of Chicago. Thus, it is my duty, nay, my responsibility, to fill that pothole – much like the one I tripped and fell unceremoniously in in the middle of a busy Atlanta intersection, much to the embarrassment of my friend who walked briskly past me (perhaps) and my shagrin when realizing that walking wasn’t as easy as it was 30 second prior. But I digress, and let me start from a little further back from that…wow, these are damn long sentences.
Truly, I haven’t written since January I believe. Since then, I’ve been home (meaning California) twice and will be sojourning home (AGAIN) this coming Thursday – April 6th - for my sister’s bridal shower. After that, I shall be heading up to San Francisco for my sister’s wedding, of course, in the month of May. And, luck and higher powers permitting, I will be finding my way home YET AGAIN before heading out to Hawaii for a conference at the end of June/beginning of July. I must have set some sort of record – I have, literally, gone home every single month that I’ve been out here. Sad? – perhaps. Expensive? – not noticeably so. Manageable. You’d think it impossible, especially on my budget and time constraints, but it’s true – where there’s a will, there IS a way. And, topping on the cake in a laughable sort of way, I had garnered enough flying miles to warrant two one-way tickets on Southwest, which I have, of course, already exhausted.
And there’s always reason for me to find my way back to either the bay or the city by the bay (hahaha). In February, my god-daughter was baptized in Vallejo, so I HAD to go. What kind of ninang (god mother) would I be if I didn’t go? She’s cute as a button, the only one of all the babies present who didn’t cry through the whole ordeal, and was a complete angel the whole time. Babies like her make me want to have one. But then I think about my best friend and all the things she does as a mom and think…I don’t think I can deal with that yet. All mothers – and I mean this – deserve Medals of Honor and shite. Battles won and lost on a daily basis..
Anyway, March was my Spring Break. Although it probably would have been a great idea for me to stay here and get some work done, I went home and, of course, once my feet touched the ground that late Sunday morning, I hit it running and didn’t stop until I was slated to leave the following Monday morning. Of course. Dinners here, lunches there, meetings there, two trips to Los Angeles, hang out time with individuals and communities. Sosyal, di ba? I don’t say these things to be mayabang (“big-headed” is possibly the closest translation) – I say these things because, while people may think that I overbook my time way too much while I’m home, I hope those same people understand that I do it because I view them and our relationships as important. I don’t care that I don’t get enough sleep and that need vacations from my ‘vacations,’ as long as I’m able to catch up with folks for a quick minute.
At any rate, somewhere in between all that, I managed to actually get some research done for my various projects on protest theater in Southeast Asia for four of my classes as well as produce yet another WORDSILOG. Different venue, different performers, different vibe – a great show overall, really. Not to toot my own horn. And it actually ended up being on the anniversary of the second WORDSILOG my friend and I produced last year, and, like that second show, it rained outside. Luckily, we had an indoor venue that I actually liked. We had to move it for circumstances outside of our control, but that was okay. My friend (SKIM) came down from LA to perform and she was AMAZING as always (www.myspace.com/skimmusic)… and then this other woman (check her out at www.myspace.com/jianda) Jianda was this mesmerizing, soulful, rock you to your core kinda music…just wow. Really. She’s local to SD, so y’all who are out there, try to find out where she’s droppin’ it and catch her live. Her CD is damn good too.
So two days after – actually more like 36 hours after – I get back to DeKalb from Spring Break in San Diego, I hop on yet another plane to head down to Atlanta for the National Conference for the Association of Asian American Studies. I think I had mentioned this to y’all prior and I’m pleased to report that my presentation went pretty well. There are definitely some things that I need to clean up a bit and think about more in terms of the relationship between time (academic term: temporality) and performance (academic term: cultural production), but I think I may be on to something. We’ll see. The conference was jammed pack with papers on Filipino America history, sociology, Diaspora studies, immigration, etc. etc. And SO MANY Filipino American Scholars!!! It was really, really neat to meet people from the Midwest, the Northeast and even the South who are doing some interesting work within the realm of Filipino/Filipino American studies. There’s this one woman who I met from Rutgers named Robyn Rodriguez who had the BEST middle name – MAGALIT (translation: mad) – who told the story of how her grandfather was a revolutionary at the turn of the century and how he changed his name so that he could escape execution. Apparently the Spanish officials kept insisting that his name was what it was – can’t remember off the top of my head – but he kept insisting that they were wrong and that his last name was MAGALIT – and others who were captured with him backed him up. This all happened in the Ilocos area, the northern region of Luzon and of the 24 that were captured, including her grandfather, 19 of them were martyred…they actually have a name for those 19…damn me for not remembering! But yea…another woman who I met was teaching at the University of Southern Mississippi and she was saying that the Filipino population in her area are primarily, basically, mail-order brides. She was saying that these women, while claiming their apolitical-ness, have actually organized themselves to combat the domestic violence that apparently plagues this particular community. The women act as each others’ protectors, staging ‘rescues’ of their Kababayan (translation: countrymen) in the event that they find that one of their own is being abused, taking the women and the children from the home. Isn’t that amazing?! Let me tell you, going to the conference was heartening in so many ways; not only realizing that there are SO MANY Fil-Ams who are entrenched in academia but that, on the most part, were invested in mentoring those, like me, who are coming up in the ranks and are trying to carve their niche in higher education. That being said, I have to confess that I’ve volunteered to help the Filipino Caucus create a directory of Filipino American Academics and Would-be Academics (translation: graduate students) for the nation. Some may say that this will take me away from what I should be concentrating on (ha! What’s one more thing?!), I’m looking upon this as a means of networking and developing a cohesive community that will, truly, mentor the next generation of academics, ensuring the growth of Filipino American representation in higher education and, hopefully, helping folks realize that there ARE other options in terms of pursuing a PhD.
Oh yeah – so let me revisit the pothole imagery…Friday afternoon, after I had given my talk and was all excited that I’d be able to chill and hang out with folks that evening, I was walking over to the Jamaican restaurant across the street with my new friend Eric for lunch. We were chatting as we were walking across the street and I, being the clutz that I am, don’t see the pothole in the middle of the street. There’s a lot of construction going on in that part of Atlanta – known as BUCKHEAD – and so, I guess, they hadn’t gotten around to fixing that thing. Anyway, I fall to my knees, scrape my left one, and when I go to get up, find that my right ankle feels kinda funny. Okay, not funny – it HURTS. I get through lunch with all these new folks I met, and then manage to hobble back to the Grand Hyatt for the second round of conference sessions and a reception before calling it quits and hobbling back to my hotel room to turn in for the night. The rest of the night is spent sulking over the fact that I couldn’t go drinking with these great new people I had met and that my ankle was actually swollen. No crutches, no bandages, just pain. Luckily my friend Chris, the one who had put me on his panel for the conference, was gracious enough to get me some sports tape and other bandaging material. And, as luck would have it, as we are checking out, one of the men in the lobby took one look at me and said, ‘Would you like my crutches?’ I looked at him like he was nuts and he said, ‘No, no. I just got the stitches in my leg removed and I don’t need them anymore. You can have them.’ Of course I took them gratefully and then managed to hobble my way through the rest of the conference and then survive the public transportation ordeal back to the Atlanta airport that same day.
So, of course, for the last week or so now, the first thing out of people’s mouths –‘what happened to you?!’ and I tell them, and they just give me this look of pity. Hey, I wasn’t run over, nothing is broken and I’m recovering faster than I thought. Yes, I still have a gimpy gait, but whatever. And I hate crutches – and walking with crutches – but better that then walking without them, let me tell you. I actually wasn’t going to go to the Doctor because I figured I had it under control, but one of my professors looked at me after class on Monday and said, ‘Lily Ann, you’re going to the doctor tomorrow’ – not as a question but as an emphatic statement. All I could to was hang my head and mumble, ‘okay, okay. I’ll go.’ And I’m glad I did because I found out two things: 1) nothing was broken and 2) I actually have health insurance.
Other than all of this, I’m happy to report that I’m alive and well, if overwhelmed a bit academically at the moment. I’m still working at the coffeeshop on the corner and have also found a job working with the International Training Office (ITO) on the ACCESS-Philippines Project that brings youth from the southern region of the Philippines – Mindanao – to DeKalb for a month-long conflict resolution and peace building seminar. It’s pretty interesting. Today, I worked 12 hours…I think. No, 13 – 8 at ITO and then 5 hours at Java. I’m sad to say that I do need the money so that I don’t have to ask my folks for any, as well as pay a parade of people back for money loaned. Well, maybe a parade of 3 or so. That and bills, etc. etc. You know the song and dance. But, I’m not totally neglecting being a student, though I’m still trying to pin down the time to sit and just read the stacks of books and piles of articles I have for my research projects this semester. This weekend. For sure.
At any rate, I’ll stop here. I decided to write on this day because it’s the 30th – and because I, along with all my best friends, are all turning 30 this year. It’s a scary thought. One of my best friend’s is coming up in 14 days. It’s a scary thing to think about. But not. Some people may interpret it as a time to look back and say, ‘WTF have I been doing with MY life?!’ I’m taking it as an opportunity to look forward, given all the wonderful things that have been happening thus far this academic year and say, ‘what doors should I open next?’ Ah, forever the optimist. Sure, I ask what I’ve been doing with myself the last 29 years, but if I dwell on that…well, there’s no point really. Just kind of an ‘oh – I have to get that done. Yeah.’
It’s raining. There are 4 minutes left this 30th day of the third month. The wind is still howling. On the upside, all of that began after I hobbled home. It was beautiful today actually –high of 65. Get that!?! I guess Spring is here…in a very noisily windy way…eek!
Alright. I’ve tortured all of you long enough. Kudos to those of you who have hung out this long. Yes, I’m going to put this on my blog. And, as always, if you don’t wanna get my intensely loquacious emails any more, just let me know.
I pray all of you are well. May you have a marvelous Easter, don’t forget to put your clocks ahead one hour this coming Sunday.
My love to you all,
lily ann
